Another Porn-Doggle. Just a little Photoshop joy to end the day out right.
Have I mentioned that almost everything on the site is clickable? It’s true. Poke around.
Er, the third picture might be kinda NSFW.
LINK: Wackyarchives via Trendhunter.
Went by a friend’s office after-hours to do more of that copy-doggling (sticking your head in a copier) I’m so fond of.
Selecting bigger paper gave us a nice large work-space to play with. And, same as before, by changing your expression as the light bar passes, or dragging your face along with it, you can get some really nice art out of the machine.
It was when she started playing too though that things got really interesting. Look at the way she fades into the background. Oh, the magic of Xerox machines.
I can’t tell, was it just a doggle, or could this be the start of something more? Read the rest of this entry »
Surely someone over at the manufacturer was having a laugh when they made this.
Link: JoeyDevilla.
It’s time again for Drew’s Truth or Dare. You remember Drew, he’s the one with a very sordid past and very little shame. Got a question or dare? Send ‘em to us at truthordare@zoomdoggle.com and make him, er, doggle for your delight. Take it away Drew…
TRUTH: Ever heard of this thing called the Fleshlight? I’m thinking of ordering it, but at nearly $90 any info you could provide before I push “buy” would be greatly appreciated.
—notgonnatellya@heprobblydidntwantustoshare.com
Ah, where to begin. Word around the Navy docks is that it’s a must-have item for any enlisted man looking to partying solo style. As I’d already flogged the dolphin every way imaginable, and, as hanging out dock-side asking about masturbation isn’t getting me any closer to actual women, I decided to more in for a closer look.
Read the rest of this entry »
If you’re anything like us, you don’t wear a cup to play ball. Letting your junk flop around is half the fun. But just because you leave the wean-bean unprotected on the field, doesn’t mean you should hang it out to dry in the courtroom. Guard your guy from would-be name-thieves at the one and only Wang Registry.
What’s that, you say you never took the time to name your tool? (Maybe we’re not cut from the same cloth after all.) Might we recommend for you the Penis Name Generator. For Zoomdoggle it came up with “The One Eyed Wonder Weasel.” Sure, we could do better if we set our mind to it, but we’ve got bigger things on our plate. Remember how we got lucky before? This time we’re trying to make change with thumbtacks. You’ll have to come back tomorrow to see what we’re talking about…
Link: NameYourPenis.
Longtime reader (name withheld in light of recent events) writes in to share his latest and greatest hobby: Coloring in porn.
He simply drags an image off the web, opens it in Photoshop, and de-porns it with a few shiny new pixels and loads of imagination.
Pretty cool right?
Have a go, make your own and, send it in to pornpixels at zoomdoggle dot com. Best one in a week wins a crisp—er, crumpled really, but no less usable—$50 in cold hard cash. Or, if you prefer, 5000 lucky pennies.
See something you like? Leave some love in the comments section. Any feedback will do actually. It’s just starting to feel like a ghost town here.
NOTE: NSFW
We argued at length whether or not the anonymous Hungarian woman who’s taken to doing impromptu strip shows on the Bucharest subway counts as a doggler at all. There are several factors to take into account, but question comes down to this:
Is she doing it for fun, or cash?
Is she having a laugh, or simply frustrating authorities?
After several minutes of debate and even more viewings, we realized we don’t care. Boobies are always a good time. They’re like the party hats of the chest.
First one reader submitted doggle. And now a second. This is shaping up to be a pretty good week.
Reader Pinguino explains:
I let the birthday boy, Dave, choose what the cake was gonna be, and he wanted a 2girls1cup cake. So we told the cake place I usually use , thinking they wouldn’t know what it was. Turned out one of the dudes there had seen it and showed everyone else at the bakery. The cake was chocolate, with a nutty PB center, and a cup of chocolate.
Yum!
Link: Flickr.
TRUTH: Do ALL Asian massage parlors “go the distance” to satisfy their clients? There’s one on my block that doesn’t look up to code, but it doesn’t look entirely sketchy either; think they’re choking chickens in there? —sentinbyfriendofdoggle@wherevertheygotouremail.com
Ah, a good question and a hard one to answer. There’s no way to say what happens at ALL such establishments. Assuming that the “sketchy ones” are murdering man-poultry as you say, the only reasonable test would be to check in on a few who don’t appear to be in the batter-bleeding business. But as none would confirm by phone that they engaged in such practices, we decided to move in for a closer look. The following is my account of a visit to a beauty salon around the corner from the Zoom office in Soho/Nolita. Consider it Zoom’s first attempt at investigative reporting. Lets see what we can’t learn…
ZOOM NOTE: In the interest of not blowing up anyone’s spot, we’ve decided to run just this one picture.
From the outside the place looked like anything BUT a happy-ending hideaway. A full plate glass facade gave passersby a view of three barber-chairs facing a mirrored wall. Two older Asian ladies sat with tinfoil in their hair and the signage was all haircuts and nails. By my naive standards, this should be the last place on earth to get jerked and therefore, the perfect test. At the end of the price list in the window was mention of a foot and neck massage for $20. I wondered how many—if any—nods, winks, and smiles it would take to get them to service the in-between.
Upon entering, the hairstylist, or beauty technician if you prefer, looked up with what was either disgust, confusion or irritation.
“Hi, I’d like a FULL-body massage,” I said. She put up a finger, and, without saying a word, marched through a curtain to the back of the place. A few moments later she returned with another woman, mid-40s but rocking higher heels than I’ve ever seen my mom in, who smiled as she motioned me to the back. The tug-zone?
She sent me into a room with a single massage table. Alone and unsure I went balls out and, well, took my balls out… along with everything else and laid facedown on the table. Read the rest of this entry »
10 words I find fun: kerfuffle, whippersnapper, nipple, discombobulated, grommet, condiments, spork, floozy, boa, and dogapult ... more »
Pick up someone else's camera.
Let your face get completely slack.
Shake hard.
Flash.
Wait for it to be found.
Smile.
The next time someone picks you up in their car - say a friend or family member - climb in the back, right-hand seat, leaving the front passenger seat empty. With a straight face, tell 'em where to. It's a little game I call "Chauffeur." Fun.
Write the letters "B" and "R" on a one-dollar bill. Tuck your boner anywhere you please. Pull it out when least expected for maximum effect.
For this one, you need to be in the back of a car.
And you can't be the only one there.
first, let your body go limp (it helps to imagine you've actually got no bones).
Next, undo you're seatbelt.
Now play Jello.
The fun starts midway through the first turn one.
On a hot day, few things beat "stinky ice cream":
While eating with a friend, ask if their's smells funny too.
When they go in for a whiff, give the old elbow a little bump.
Not too hard, just enough to powder their nose.
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