(Sam makes awesome lists and asked if he could post them here… and thus he is my new best friend.)


You probably started in Rendezvous, Wyoming, Last Resort Creek, Colorado, or Hooker, Arkansas. From here, it’s time to take the tour:
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1 Kissimmee, Florida.
A natural second stop. Warm, familiar.
2 Boob Creek, Alaska.
A slightly more adventurous third stop.
3 Blastow Cove, Maine.
Yep, I went there. Not in the literal sense — I’ve never been here in real life — but in the metaphorical “Don’t GO there!” sense.
4 Handy, Indiana.
There are also cities named Handy in Georgia, Missouri and North Carolina, if those are more convenient.
5 Big Bone Lick, Kentucky and 6 Oral, Tennessee.
These are pretty close to each other. I like that when I looked up Big Bone Lick it came up on Google as “Big Bone Lick, KY.” I’m feeling awfully mature tonight, by the way.
7 Spread Eagle, Wisconsin.
This is a good stop. Don’t feel guilty that it sounds like it’s a nice Native American city.
8 Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
The inspiration for the whole list. The reason that you came. And probably the cause of an infinite number of jokes throughout history.
9 Anal, Marshall Islands.
The Marshall Islands, for those who don’t know, are “a Democratic Presidential Republic in free association with the U.S.” The U.S. invaded and occupied them during World War II. They’re not under U.S. control anymore, but we test missiles from a base there and their currency is the U.S. dollar. I share all these facts as a way of justifying putting it on the list. Bottom line: even if we ended up here by accident, you had to think it was on my mind from the start.
10 Climax, North Carolina.
I’m glad we ended up here. This tour could have just as easily wound up in Blue Ball, Pennsylvania. Or, if you’re a lady, it could have been Faker, Texas. Or else you could have pointed the guy to Failetown, Alabama, while you headed to Self, Arkansas.
11 Bolt, Oregon.
Hey, it might seem crass, but no one wants to end the tour in Snoring Bay, Washington.
LINK: 11points.
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