“Story telling is a Jewish tradition. You’ve probably seen Fiddler on the Roof. Whenever they ask the Rabbi a question, he tugs thoughtfully on his beard and says ‘let me tell you a story.’ Then they sing. Jokes are like stories, but shorter and funnier.”
A new (old) joke every Tuesday and Thursday. If you’re anything like me, it’s like a visit with Grandma (god rest her soul, I loved that lady), less the booze and gambling.
LINK: Oldjewstellingjokes.
You remember Michael J. Nelson, he’s the guy from Mystery Science Theater who brought the show online—with downloadable “RiffTrack” (what’s the singular of something that ends in x?) you listen to while watching campy movies—when the real version went off-air. We’ve written about him before. Anyway, for the month of February, he’s supersizing himself by eating nothing but bacon and documenting it. And not to call attention to anything in particular, just to prove it can be done. How fun is that?
NOTE: Dan one and two were fun, and hard to read without getting hungry. By day 20 it might be hard to eat after reading. Get it while it’s hot!
LINK: Rifftraxbaconstupidity.
While the rest of the world was tied-up watching football or whatever, I was knee deep in Puppy Bowl V, the 5th installment in Animal Planet’s yearly, and blinding brilliant, series. Puppies… On a mock fiend… Playing for hours… Interrupted only by the Kitten half-time show. This year, there was even a streaker (well, one of those weird naked dogs). My only complaint is that it’s not live.
They’ve yet to put this years highlights on YouTube, so here’s a bit of last year’s jam. Otherwise, click over to the offical site for more.
LINK: Puppybowl.
To Do lists can fun… but To Don’t lists are funner. Both are available for sale at KnockKnock and will set you back $7… blablabla… who cares? The important question is:
What’s on your To Don’t list? Let us know in the comments below, thanks!
LINK: Knockknock.
“My name is Shake-Zula, the mic rulah, the old schoolah. You want a trip? I’ll bring it to ya!”
All it takes is, a 4.00 mm hook, and a bit of know-how. Complete DIY instructions after the jump.
BONUS: Making a Meatwad takes 0 know-how and no hook. Just buy the right color yarn, unspool it and ball it up. How fun is that?
LINK: Instructables via Neatorama.
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: NO-GOliath
Superhuman size. Totally human feet. Upon engaging the No-Go-liath power, the upper 95% of our superhero swells to impressive size. Shortly thereafter, he topples like Nick Nolte at an open-bar charity ball. Does anyone have a XXXXXL Hoveround?
Dear superuseless fans: we’ve seen your brilliance. In the breakroom…in the bathroom…and yes, even the chat room. And now the time has come. We’re creating a monthly post that will feature the best fan-submitted superuseless superpower. What are you waiting for?! Engage your powers of creative cunning…and help us save the world from boredom!
Submit powers in to talktomeaboutit at gmail dot com. Winners will have their submission illustrated by the superuseless team.
LINK: Superuseless.
There’s nothing wrong with playing with food. Hell, Jason has made an art of it:
Ready for the hardest thing you’ll do all day? Master craftsmen Ze Frank has done it again. All you need is an active mic and a computer and you can click over to his world, then get your draw on audio-wise (think Etch A Sketch if you had no arms). Low volumes make counterclockwise curves, medium is straight lines, and high bends the line clockwise. Hard as all get out to control—and harder still to look rational humming at your machine—but I’ve made some pretty decent scribbles by playing it techno.
LINK: Zefrank via Trandhunter.
Gross and yet pleasing. Complete DIY instructions and loads more stomach-turning but smile-inducing photos after the jump. Kind of reminds me of The Kids In The Hall’s Happiness Pie (it took some work, but I found a completely SFW version).
NOTE: Milleniajc wins Floyd’s Weekend Challenge by managing to suggest something that was in the hopper to get post last week… send me an address and I’ll send you a something. How fun is that?
Drag the objects from the top to the pole, where you must balance all of them perfectly. Use “A” and “D” to rotate. Use strength from within to stay calm (it gets difficult, fast). 40 stages means this could easily take all day. Click the pic to get the game.
10 words I find fun: kerfuffle, whippersnapper, nipple, discombobulated, grommet, condiments, spork, floozy, boa, and dogapult ... more »
Pick up someone else's camera.
Let your face get completely slack.
Shake hard.
Flash.
Wait for it to be found.
Smile.
The next time someone picks you up in their car - say a friend or family member - climb in the back, right-hand seat, leaving the front passenger seat empty. With a straight face, tell 'em where to. It's a little game I call "Chauffeur." Fun.
Write the letters "B" and "R" on a one-dollar bill. Tuck your boner anywhere you please. Pull it out when least expected for maximum effect.
For this one, you need to be in the back of a car.
And you can't be the only one there.
first, let your body go limp (it helps to imagine you've actually got no bones).
Next, undo you're seatbelt.
Now play Jello.
The fun starts midway through the first turn one.
On a hot day, few things beat "stinky ice cream":
While eating with a friend, ask if their's smells funny too.
When they go in for a whiff, give the old elbow a little bump.
Not too hard, just enough to powder their nose.
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