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June 10, 2008

Think of all the different awesome stuff you could do if you had a backhoe. The world would be your sandbox. You could dig holes. Big ones. And make piles of dirt. Really big ones. And, um, undress girls…

Machinery is neat. No wonder construction workers are always so horny; think of all the joy to be had with a jackhammer or pneumatic drill.

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ZOOMDOGGLE » New Sport Alert: Carpet Skating June 17th, 2008 11:38 am

[...] you’re getting old when the first time you see Carpet Skates on QVC you think, “Great, another way to hurt [...]

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The simple pursuit of fun for fun's sake.
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1. A blagazine built on a platform of fun and bent on getting others to join the show.
2. One man's desperate attempt to enjoy the work day and beyond.
Life's Simple Pleasures:

Pick up someone else's camera.
Let your face got completely slack.
Shake hard.
Flash.
Wait for it to be found.
Smile.

The next time someone picks you up in their car - say a friend or family member - climb in the back, right-hand seat, leaving the front passenger seat empty. With a straight face, tell 'em where to. It's a little game I call "Chauffeur." Fun.

Write the letters "B" and "R" on a one-dollar bill. Tuck your boner anywhere you please. Pull it out when least expected for maximum effect.

For this one, you need to be in the back of a car.
And you can't be the only one there.
first, let your body go limp (it helps to imagine you've actually got no bones).
Next, undo you're seatbelt.
Now play Jello.
The fun starts midway through the first turn one.

On a hot day, few things beat "stinky ice cream":
While eating with a friend, ask if their's smells funny too.
When they go in for a whiff, give the old elbow a little bump.
Not too hard, just enough to powder their nose.

Run up an escalator.
Don't be scared.
Getting to the top is all the joy of winning a marathon, without any of the pesky pants-pooping.

Tag someone without warning and run. Now they're it.

This one's easy, the next time you get on an elevator, simply face the wrong way.
Make no mention of it.
Watch how others react.

Put a penny on a train track... back away and wait. I promise it's won't hurt the train any. The penny on the other hand? Well, you know. You probably did this one in high-school.

Hit someone with a pillow. Don't be scared, even if they're not expecting it, if there's a pillow nearby, they'll probably hit you back. Fair is fair. Sometimes starting a war is fun.
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June 10, 2008

Dig-Doggle

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