Zoomdoggle: More fun than work!

It’s Thursday again, the most important day of the week. Why? Cause Thursday is when you tell us what YOU think would be fun and, if it sounds like a good time, we do our best to make it happen…with you in the driver’s seat.

Adam simply said he’d like to do anything that would “get him out of his shell some.” Not knowing exactly how big his shell is, we tried to reach as far out of the box as possible. Thankfully, the Coney Island Circus Sideshow School offered their support as well.

With teachers Adam Rinn and Donny Vomit at the helm, Adam prepared for his doggle. And, without further ado, these are his recollections from his side-splitting, shell-shattering, death-defying… er, sorry about that… take it away Adam:

1. Laying on a bed of nails doesn’t really hurt, but it does leave your back looking like Edward James Olmos’s face.

2. We weren’t allowed to handle the show’s snakes because the 15-foot python had just eaten a rabbit and was resting. Apparently they had another snake, but it started eating its own tail. Eventually when it got enough of it’s own body into its stomach, it died.

3. When you work up the balls to actually tap your tongue with a lit torch, it doesn’t really burn that much. It turns out having open flame on your tongue feels no worse than eating hot soup.

4. Carnies make their own beds of nails. But you don’t need a full-size bed. They say anything over 2 feet or so is a rookie mistake you’ll come to regret.

5. The skill in breaking a cinder block on someone’s chest with a sledgehammer actually lies in the guy wielding the sledgehammer. If he hits the block just right, the man below feels very little. If he doesn’t, the entire force of the swing will be transferred to the man on the bed of nails, driving a few of them into his back.

6. Apparently every sideshow guy has bought handcuffs. And none of them use them. Straitjackets, I’m told, are a much better investment.

7. Eating fire was one of the most exciting things I’ve done in years. Before going, I’d been thinking to myself, “OK, this is going to be totally cool, just so long as they don’t expect me to eat fire. Because that will make me lose my shit.” And then they asked me to eat fire.

8. Once you’ve gotten used to having fire near your face, swallowing it is a much easier thing. But as my instructors warn: Be really, really careful not to inhale while eating the fire. Swallowing fire is fun. Inhaling it into your lungs is life changing.

9. When you and five other people are standing on an empty street in Coney Island at 9 pm on a Tuesday night, blowing balls of fire into the night sky, people tend to gawk. And they should. It’s an awesome fucking sight.

10. If you try any of these things on your own without instruction from a professional, you are retarded and deserve whatever horrible disfigurements you incur.

11. Learning to swallow swords begins with wire hangers. That’ mega-advanced though.

12. I watched the videos on the train ride home. They don’t do the experience justice. Trust me, in person, it’s totally crazy. It made me giddy for days.

13. Doing these things at the sideshow school was one of the more unexpectedly awesome and exciting nights of my life. Thanks Zoomdoggle.

—AdamWiner@zoomdoggle.com

Blowing fire not your thing? What would you like, then? Wanna punch a gator? Patrol with the police? Learn to say “I love you”? Don’t be scared to dream big. Let us know what you’re into, and if it sounds like it might be a good time, we’ll see what we can do. Send ideas to dreamdoggle@zoomdoggle.com. Also, we’re still on the hunt for a video guy. Think of all the fun that could’ve been had if we’d brought a pro along for the ride.