Zoomdoggle: More fun than work!

If you’re anything like us, a significant portion of your day is spent staring off into the endless tubes that are the Internet. Perhaps you start with Page Six, Facebook, or Gawker, sooner or later though, all roads leads to craigslist. And while the pervy probably peruse the casual encounter boards, the Zoom crew likes our net with just a hint more romance: missed connections.

Have you ever met eyes with a stranger, and shared a smile or kind word, only to find that your special someone has slipped out of sight before you could exchange contact details? That’s what missed connections is all about. It’s about second chances. It’s about reconnecting. It’s about love.

The problem is how can you tell if someone else has felt a connection you might have missed? Sure, you could simply log on and scan the titles to see if any ring a bell, but even then you’d have to be looking within just a few hours of your admirer’s post to ever find it. What’s more, even if you click on “You got my heart RUNNING” and you recall seeing a girl with medium brown hair while you ran, how can you be sure you’re the “good looking guy in running shorts” that first prompted her post?

The solution is simple: Do something to make yourself stand out in a crowd. Something unique enough that you could actually just plug it into craigslist’s search bar to scour the whole site in seconds for unknown admirers.

Luckily, we’ve got a Wookie suit.

And our heart in the right place.

After a quick read of the connections being missed all over town though, we realized eye contact is of the utmost importance. You can’t start a romance without clearly looking at someone, and in order to do that, we’d probably have to lose the mask. The hands, creepy as they are, should probably go too. And because it was raining, we also spared New Yorkers the feet.

Still, a full-body bath mat should be enough to make an impression, while this handsome mug is practically guaranteed tug at the heartstrings. Hell, people love spotting Sasquatch.

Off we went to all the regular spots missed connections are born, to see if we couldn’t inspire a few of our own.

Bookstores.

Groceries.

Streets.

Can you feel the magic?

Still, there’s a thin line between creating a connection, that spark of romance that one party might notice while the other is too aloof to be aware of, and downright flirting.

So I confined my activities to pensive stares and stolen glances.

I offered directions to tourists (after all, their being new in town, surely they would be among the most likely to take to the web in search of that dashing stranger they met at the curb).

And book advice to anyone who would listen. Sitting in the self-improvement section seemed like a good idea as well.

Admit it, if you were looking for 99 Simple Steps To A Better You, you’d trust this guy.

That said, here’s what I’ve deduced from my day spent as Big Foot:

—The world seems to be divided into two camps: Those that want to talk, and those that would rather not. Give the talkers a talking point (say, a Chewbacca suit without the head) and they’re ready to go at a moment’s notice.

—Personal hygiene is of the utmost concern to more New Yorkers. I heard “conditioner” and “split ends” jokes at a rate of around one every ten minutes.

—The most unique response given after a full explanation of our intentions? “I’d like to think Blackface Jesus was running a similar experiment.”

—Smile as wide as you like, some people are creeped out to find a six-foot-three fur ball pressed up against them in the subway.

—Charging cars with the head on, though entertaining (nearly all stop short), is also ill advised (they also nearly get rear-ended). Amazingly, we had to run the drill twice just to be sure.

—Once you put the suit on, or any variation there of, it’s hard to take off. Forty-eight hours later, we could still be found jumping out of showers at roommates, or reaching for strangers with just the hand at the bar.

—The police in Williamsburg (who can currently be found on every corner for reasons unknown) are surprisingly good-sports about being crept-up on by Chewy. Shock and awe quickly gives way to laughter. Weapons are never drawn.

—At press-time, and after hundreds of possible connections missed, we’d yet to find even one mention on CL. Cupid and Chewbacca do NOT walk hand in hand.

—Most importantly though, ZOOMDOGGLE NEEDS A VIDEOGRAPHER! Some of these reactions were priceless (especially those of the Po-Po) but using the movie function on our point-and-click just doesn’t cut the mustard. Care to cut mustard with us? Got a video camera, a good nature, and a wee bit of free time you could spare? Send your details to countmein@zoomdoggle.com. Otherwise, see you back here tomorrow. Oh, and big ups to Trixie Bedlam for her photographic know-how.

—The Zoomcrew@Zoomdoggle.com