Zoomdoggle: More fun than work!

Hollywood, Tinsel Town, La La Land, so many people come out here with head-shots in their hand and stars in their eyes… and so many wind up working the window at the take-out of broken dreams. Surely they don’t have the skills Zoom does. How hard can it be to make it in this place? With that in mind that we hand out travel mission 2: Twenty-four hours to go from nobody to somebody in the city of angels. Doggle’m Don.

11AM
You heard it, my mission was simple. But while I did a little soft-shoe in high school, I’m not nearly as acquainted with fame as one might think. Per my limited knowledge of the subject, my first step was a quick perusal of “Industry” periodicals to get a grasp of the insiders approach.

This face has star potential, but to get it out there I would have to meet the public head on. I decided to go big — Grauman’s Chinese Theater big, Hollywood “walk of fame” big — to see if I could spread the legend of Don, along with my autograph, per my subliminal suggestions.

12:30PM
I started simple…

…and made some celebrity friends (celebs like us travel in packs you know)…

…still, no one wanted my sig.

Desperation…

…turned to neediness.

Even my famous friend could hardly look as I took off with my tail between my legs.

1:45PM
Next plan: Perhaps if I follow the celebrity “day to day” some of the magic will rub off on me. I started at Star Shoe Repair. The sign said “open” but they weren’t letting regulars like me in. Still, it was cool to be where the stars are.

Tommy’s Famous? Hardly! No one worth rubbing elbows with there.

Finally I went to the most sure-fire celeb hobnob spot of all time; a mecca of majors just waiting to embrace me.

Not to slander, but it seems there is a gross misuse of the word “famous” going on.

I was disappointed to find that only oldies frequented this alleged haunt of the famous!

3:20PM
This quest might be harder than I’d imagined. I headed back to Hollywood proper with my reference material in hand.

And a Knish. Yum.

4:12PM
Next, I took the only logical step: Get one of those “star maps” to drop in on an A-lister for a first-hand account of the path to top.

Promising.

Maybe I could even move in a la Kato.

Orson Welles definitely does NOT live here anymore!

9:40PM
Next my research suggested that genuine laziness with the perception of busy-making is a key component to many a Hollywood big-shot. I headed to a coffee shop to pretend to write a script in hope that I may get discovered.

Three cups of joe in, I had the jitters. No script. Still no fame.

10:50PM
Time to hit the clubs.

11:50PM
Any minute now; they told me a few more guys had to leave and they’d let me in.

12:22AM
I made a run at the door…

12:24AM
Probably time I called it a day.

10:10AM
With only a few hours left to make the assignment a success, I decided to dig deep into my my “emergency idea” bag. There’s no faster route to overnight success than rap; all it takes is an image to make it in that game. Welcome to my photo shoot.

Sure these fuel-efficient hybrids don’t pack the same punch as a Lambo, but they are reliable and fuel efficient. Nothing is sexier than keeping it real at the pump.

“Be afraid Hollywood. Don the Don is here to beat that Wonton.” (See, rapping is easy).

10:50AM
With just a few minutes left for reflection, I took a minute to think. Overall this was an amazing journey. I learned a lot about myself, and in turn, hopefully I gave something to the world as well. Sorry, those last 2 sentences are a piece of the awards speech I had been working on just in case. Yes fame IS the most important thing in life. However, at the end of the day, even the biggest stars like kicking it with their dogs. Just like I did with this dog, which I borrowed from a friend.

—Don@zoomdoggle.com