Zoomdoggle: More fun than work!

As some of you may recall, the Zoom crew (then, just a party of one) took a trip to Las Vegas some time back. The goal was to look like we (and again, we’re using the royal “we” now) had a lot of money and really live it up Big Willie-style.

Unfortunately, all the dough had gone into getting to Vegas in the first place. And as those who know me will attest, I’ never been all that lucky at the tables.

It was time to make some luck of my own. Manufacture it, if you will. And I do.

You know those cardboard checks they give you when you hit a slot machine jackpot? Sure you do, they hang ‘em by the door of most not-so-high-rent casino’s to attract suckers. Well maybe I’m a sucker. Or maybe not.

Regardless, the plan was simple:

- Do a little research to find one of the lesser-known big money rollover machines.

- Go up to my room and approximate the machines logo on my computer.

- Put the logo on a check.

- Call back east to some of Zoomdoggle’s more helpful friends and get them to print the thing out. BIG. Jackpot big.

- Next, the piece of paper would be over-nighted to the hotel room, where I’d be waiting with spray adhesive and poster board to give the thing the proper consistency.

- From there I would spend the rest of my time in Vegas wandering up and down the strip with my big score under my arm, getting ladies to pose for photos with me and my check.

If nothing else it’d be a good photo op. But who knows what could happen if I forgot to tell someone it’s fake. I mean, can you imagine the craziness that would ensue if even once I was like, “What this? I know, crazy right. I don’t have a dollar in my pocket tonight, but you better believe I’m going to the bank tomorrow.” Can you imagine the comps they’d throw at me?

Anyway, everything went according to plan. The logo was flawless. The counterfeit, beautiful. And the people at the print-shop back east were willing to play along. It wasn’t until the tube arrived in the morning that I saw the error of my ways.

I’m no good with spatial relationships.

Yup, when I eyeballed the dimensions for the printer, it seems I was off by, oh, a mile. In fact, it wasn’t until I unfurled the monstrosity that I truly realized what I’d done.

I didn’t make a check. I made wallpaper! It was Spinal Tap at cut-rate Excalibur Hotel. The thing was too big—and the room too small—to even fit in a single photograph.

Here’s the thing though: Zoomdoggle is, in fact, no longer a one-man mission. So I put the problem to the crew. How do we right the Vegas wrong? How do we manufacture our own luck? And even better, how do we let others in on the fun? There is an answer! We’re on a budget, but we have the way. Next week, we share it with the world. This is gonna be good.